


spin the can

by everythingnowhere



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: -insert idea here- oh but WHAT IF ---, 2 chapters, Baz loves Simon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I lied, M/M, Oops, Secretly Dating, SnowBaz, Spin the Bottle, TYRANNUS BASILTON GRIMM-FUCKING-PITCH, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Watford (Simon Snow), We already know this, agatha never showed up, as usual, baz doesnt deserve pain, baz freaks out a little, baz is outed, baz is super gay, bazs dad is a jerk, i meant to do that but i never got around to it, in my world simons bisexual, not slow burn, or cheap beer can in this case, simon really loves baz, simon tries to comfort baz, simons in love w baz, these stories start off as one thing and spin completely into another, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-24 09:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20905478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingnowhere/pseuds/everythingnowhere
Summary: Baz and Simon have been dating secretly for a few months in their 8th year, and they decide to go to a party (seperately) one night. They weren't counting on playing spin the bottle."He must be really, really, drunk."





	1. Chapter 1

BAZ 

He wakes in my arms every morning. 

I can’t believe I’m this lucky. He’s got me head over heels for him. This is the culmination of years of want, of need. 

I feel like I’m living in my greatest dream. I love him, so much.

“Baz?” Simon whispers. I pull him closer. The morning sun glints directly onto his face. 

“Yeah, love?” 

“Do you want to go to that party tonight?” he asks me. Not quite what I was expecting, but okay.

“Sure,” I mumble sleepily. He kisses my neck. 

“Okay,” he murmurs, and after that his lips are on mine and we’re not talking anymore. 

_____________________________

The only problem is that no one at Watford knows we’re dating. (Except Penelope. Simon insisted on telling her.)

I think it’s better like that, so far. My father cannot know anyway. Penelope was sworn not to tell. I trust her (to an extent).

I would be disowned. He doesn’t even know that I’m gay. The fact that I’m dating Simon Snow wouldn’t help that, either. My family hates Simon.

We go down to breakfast separately. I pretend to hate him, and he pretends to hate me. 

The only time I get with him is in the morning and at night, hiding in the dorm. 

Sometimes I wonder if it’s the only thing keeping me sane. 

My father has been closing me out even more lately. I’m not sure why, but I haven’t heard from him or my sisters and step-mother since about a month ago. 

36 days, to be exact. I shouldn’t be counting, but I am. It's odd.

Sometimes I think Simon’s the only thing I have. 

The day goes by slowly. Classes are boring, and I have to ignore Simon. I don’t want to ignore him, I want to kiss him senseless. 

When he comes back to the room afterwards, I’m waiting for him. He closes the door and I immediately kiss him, and he pushes me onto the beds we pushed together. 

“Simon…” I mumble, and kiss his neck. He moans gently (The most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard), and I kiss him passionately. 

He breaks back from me and he looks at me strangely. 

“Malcolm hasn’t contacted you at all, has he?” I go stiff for a second and then relax. 

I let my head lean against his. “No,” I admit. He threads his fingers with mine. 

“It’s okay, love,” he murmurs. I start to push back tears. 

I squeeze Simon’s hand. “I know.” 

He kisses me gently. I bring my hands up to cup his face, and he smiles (I can feel it). 

I break back from him for air. 

“Is Penelope going to the party?” 

“I think she is.” 

As much as I dislike her, I smile. She’s not that bad. Gives me a run for my money. 

Simon kisses me before I think anything else. He’s marvelous. 

__________________________

SIMON 

“Baz… you’re- you’re wearing jeans.” I say to him. He smirks at me. 

“Nice of you to notice.” I stride across the room and catch his lips in a quick kiss. 

He breaks back from me, and says, quietly, “You look nice,”, brushing his lips over my ears.  
I let out a shaky breath and smile at him. 

I ruffle his hair. “Thanks.”

He sputters in outrage and I have to laugh. He’s gorgeous either way. 

I go into the bathroom. When I come back out, he’s gone. He must be meeting his friends. 

I wish we didn’t have to hide this. I want to be able to hold his hand. It eats at me. 

I go and meet Penelope. Usually she doesn’t go to parties like this, but I convinced her. I was gonna go whether Baz did or not.

I’m glad I don’t have to hide from her, about Baz and I. I trust her. Not more than I trust Baz, though. 

I would trust Baz with anything. (My heart, in this case.)

She seems happy, and by the time we get to the party, Baz is nowhere in sight. I’m sure I’ll find him later. 

Gareth greets me. “Hey, Simon! Want a drink?” 

He’s obviously plastered. 

I nod. “Sure.” He passes me some off-brand, cheap beer can. It’s horrible, but I drink it anyway. 

The music is blaring, and it’s some shitty pop song. Typical party music. 

Penny ditches me at one point. I’m not sure where she went, and there’s a sea of drunk people dancing (horribly) around me. 

I still haven’t seen Baz, until he bumps into me, talking with Dev. He glares at me (it's fake, obviously) (But it doesn’t feel fake) and keeps walking. I can smell the alcohol on him.

I lean against the wall and sip my beer. I’m not really friends with anyone here, except for Penny. And technically Baz. We’re friends, and I kiss him. Boyfriends. 

He’s a marvelous kisser. But I shake that from my head. This is not the place. Or the time

Gareth almost falls into me. “Hey dude!” he slurs. “We’re playing spin the bottle, but, like, with a beer can? Wanna play?” 

“Sure,” I say. Something to do, and it’s not like I’ll actually KISS someone. 

He shows me where everyone else is, and I notice Penny is sitting on the floor with the rest of the people playing. 

I wave to her, and she waves back. I think she’s tipsy. Or maybe drunk.

And then Baz walks in. My breath catches in my throat. He looks really, REALLY good. 

Fuck, is he doing it too? I think so. He’s sitting down across from me. Fuck. Why is he playing? I didn't know he was into that kind of thing anyways. 

Gareth cheers drunkenly. “Let’s play!” 

He sets down an empty can of the bad-tasting beer I was drinking before in the middle of the circle. 

“HELL yeah!” he yells. Drunk people cheer back. I don’t. 

Why am I doing this anyway?

Gareth grins. “I’ll go first.”

He spins the can, and everyone holds their breath as it spins.

It lands on Trixie. Keris frowns, but Trixie gives him a quick, closed mouth kiss. 

She spins it, and it lands on Keris. She grins, and gives her a slow kiss. 

Baz is sitting there, waiting, and then the bottle spins. To me. I watch him frown and I kiss Keris on the cheek. 

He smiles, barely noticeable. I wouldn’t do that to him. 

So I spin the can. It seems to go so slow. 

And it lands on Baz. 

Fuck. I don’t know what to do. Everyone is in awe. 

And Gareth cheers, “Do it! I dare you!”. He’s laughing. He’s an annoying drunk. 

I meet Baz’s eyes. He looks confident. Not worried. I don’t know what he’s got planned. 

And before I know it, he’s ramming me up against the wall. I almost trip over Penelope, and try to apologize but Baz interrupts with “Crowley, shut UP, love,” and kisses me. 

He must be really, really drunk. Everyone is absolutely silent as Baz kisses me, and I kiss him back. 

He’s so good at this. 

“Get a room!” Gareth shouts, and laughs. “Holy fucking shit.” 

I glare at him, but then I look at Baz and there’s something strange in his eyes, that I don’t recognize. 

I pull him out of the building and we stumble back to the dorm, and as soon as I close the door behind us he’s hyperventilating into my hair. 

“Baz,” I say, and tug his head closer so he can look at me. “It’s okay.” 

“He’s going to know,” Baz says, gripping my arms tightly. “Everyone’s going to know.” 

I press a kiss to his cheek. “It’s going to be okay, love.” 

A tear slips down Baz’s cheek. “I’m going to be disowned, at best.” 

“I’ve got you, it’s going to be okay,” I say softly. Baz meets my eye and kisses me. This is bad, but we can deal with it tomorrow, right?

I wrap my arms around Baz and move for us to lay on the bed. 

We kiss slowly, and I almost forget about what happened. 

________________________


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz deals with fallback from his father. Simon does his best to comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually took longer to make than I expected.

BAZ 

I can’t believe I did that. What was I thinking? Father is going to disown me. I’ll never speak to my family again. 

Contrary to popular belief, I find most of my family somewhat tolerable. 

But Simon’s kisses are distracting me, so I lose myself in him and we fall asleep together, my arms wrapped around him. 

I wake in the morning and he’s still asleep, snoring gently.

I wake him up with kisses on his face and his neck, and when his eyes open he smiles.

“Are you okay?” Simon asks me. I sigh. I had forgotten about that. 

“I don’t know. I don’t think so,” I whisper. He frowns and reaches behind me to thread his fingers through my hair. 

“My family will never talk to me again.” My voice cracks. He kisses my neck softly. 

“You’ll still have Fiona,” he points out. I take a deep breath and sigh.

“That’s true.”

My eyes flutter closed as he continues to kiss my neck, my jaw, my ear. A soft sigh escapes my lips. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Simon murmurs to me. I take his hand in mine and squeeze it gently.

We don’t get out of bed all day. It’s only Saturday, anyway. 

I’m about to fall asleep midday when my phone (which is not supposed to be at Watford, but I don’t particularly care for that rule) buzzes. 

My blood runs cold. It buzzes again. I sit up jerkily and fumble for it, and Simon squeezes my hand. 

MALCOLM: Basilton?  
MALCOLM: I’d like to speak to you. 

An unwelcome shudder runs through my entire body. Simon stares at the screen. 

I start to type. 

BAZ: Of course.  
BAZ: When? 

My texts are short. I do not want to talk to him. 

Simon starts to rub circles with his thumb on my hand. I close my eyes for a second, and when I hear another buzz I open them. 

MALCOLM: Perhaps after your dinner tonight?  
BAZ: That works. I’ll speak to you then. 

My breaths are shaky. “I don’t want to talk to him,” I force from my mouth. 

“I know,” Simon says. “You don’t have to.” 

I squeeze my eyes shut. “I do.” 

He’s silent. He just pulls me into a hug and I start to cry into his shoulder.

Basilton Grimm-Pitch, crying? How embarrassing. 

It only makes me cry harder. Damn it. 

Simon whispers into my ear. “It’s okay, love,” and “I’m here.” I can barely sense that he’s talking at all. 

I’m just glad he’s here. 

I’m fucked. Utterly fucked. 

I’m going to be disowned tonight. I know it. 

I cry until I run out of tears. Then Simon insists that I shower. 

“You look like utter shit,” he says. I laugh softly. He doesn’t mean it in a bad way. 

I look into the mirror in the bathroom, and Crowley, he’s right. 

Not my finest moment. 

My shower is long. I make sure that when I get out I’m perfectly composed.

I look around for a second and Simon’s gone. 

He must be…

I’m not sure where he went. 

I don’t think he ditched me. He wouldn’t do that, right? 

And then the door creaks open. Simon’s carrying a plate of scones. 

I snort. Of course it’s scones. He grins at me. 

“Cook Pritchard gave me them. You’re friends with her, aren’t you?”

I nod. “Yeah. She’s not bad.” 

He sets the plate down onto the floor. He grabs one. 

I grimace. He’s making a mess all over the floor. 

“Can’t you be a little cleaner, Simon?” I ask him. 

He doesn’t respond, but he smiles again. 

I take one (only for his benefit. I don’t think he’d let me not have one) and by the time I finished he’s plowed through another three. 

He takes my hand. I let him. 

His voice is small when he asks me, “Do you want to go to dinner tonight?” 

I don’t really want to but I tell him I do. I should go. I know I should. 

Anyways, after I talk to Father I can feed. It’s been a long time, and Simon’s starting to get tempting. 

Simon sighs (with relief? I’m not sure). Then he stands and offers me his hand. 

I take it. He pulls me up to sit on his bed. He just stares at me silently, his other hand lifted to cup my cheek.

And then he kisses me again. And all I can think is “I love you,” as we fall back onto the bed.

_________________________

SIMON 

I hate seeing Baz so WEAK. He’s always been the strong one. 

I don’t like seeing him hurt. 

He doesn’t deserve this much pain. 

Right now my hands are sliding up his shirt and he’s kissing me like I’ll never see him again. 

Crowley, he’s so beautiful. If I could stay here with him forever, I would.

I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him. Being with him is like living in a pleasant dream. 

I want him to know he’s gorgeous. I want him to know. Words are bubbling up my throat and I don’t know how to say them. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I say. My voice cracks, a bit. He breaks back from me and smiles, a real, genuine smile (rare from Baz). 

“You think so?” 

“I do.” 

And then Baz kisses me again, and I’m filled with more love than I think I’ve ever been before. 

I start to unbutton his shirt. Smooth, pale grey skin greets my eyes as I work on undoing the buttons. 

After I’m done, Baz slips my shirt over my head and starts to kiss my moles. 

I grip his shoulders. “Baz,” I let slip breathily. 

He looks up at me. “Simon.” 

Baz comes up to my face and kisses me, slowly and softly. 

It’s perfect. He’s perfect. 

I run my hands over his chest. He’s muscular. His shoulders are broad. 

I like to touch his collarbones. Everything about him is so angular. Sharp. 

He sighs into my mouth. Just being with him - it’s enough. 

Baz suddenly pulls his face away from mine, slowly. “I’m thirsty,” he says, rushed. “I’ll be back soon.”

I nod, and he slips his shirt back on and leaves. I think now is a good time to shower.

I hope he’s okay. I know he’s scared. He doesn’t deserve to feel fear like this. Like his family can just wave him goodbye and that’s it. 

No going back. I want to do everything to stop it. I want to make him feel okay, but I can’t. 

I’m not used to feeling like this. Powerless. There must be something I can do.

Comfort him. Desperately try to make him feel like he’s loved. And he is.

I step out of the shower and get dressed quickly. 

Baz shows up again about fifteen minutes later. “Hi,” I say. He smiles and kisses my cheek.

“Hi.” I take his hand. “Are you gonna be okay, later?” I ask him. 

He shakes his head and runs his free hand through his hair. “I don’t think so.” 

He hates to admit it, I can tell. “It’s gonna be alright,” I tell him. He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me closer to him, dropping his head on my shoulder. 

“I don’t know,” he says. His voice cracks.

I hate seeing him like this. So- broken. I know he’s stronger than this.

“Let’s go to dinner, love,” I say, and he nods. He pulls his hand out of mine and I immediately miss it. 

We walk down together, slowly. Baz is doing a very good job at looking composed. 

He sits down at my table with me. People are staring, but that’s okay. They already know anyway. Word at Watford spreads quickly. No doubt everyone will know about us. 

Dinner goes by quickly. Afterwards, Baz tells me to meet him in the room and he strides away to call his father. 

He comes back up to the room a half hour or so later. He’s grey and ashy and looks like a wreck.

“Baz,” I say. “Come here, love.” And he does. 

He falls into my arms and I wrap them tight around him.

“What happened?” I ask him, sliding my fingers through his hair.   
“I was right,” He sobs. “I’m disowned.” I frown. 

“It’s okay, love,” I whisper. “You still have Fiona, remember?” 

His eyes are red. “She’ll be so ashamed.” 

“No she won’t,” I tell him. “She loves you.” That’s true. “You still have me,” I say. 

“I know. I’m so glad I have you.” 

I’m nervous before I say this, but I have to. “I love you, Baz.” 

He’s shocked. He stiffened in my arms and then relaxed. Then he smiles. 

“I love you too, Simon.” 

I smile.

He kisses me. Slowly. Passionately. 

I love him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next work I have planned is going to be a big one. It'll probably take a while to make. But would anyone like an epilogue?

**Author's Note:**

> 2 chapters! enjoy - it probably won't take too long to write the second chapter, but you never know.


End file.
